How to self-soothe is one trick every adult should learn instead of relying on people for comfort, reassurance and validation. There are times when you feel so stressed, overwhelmed and anxious that you will feel your nervous system going into this threat mode. As a coping mechanism, you may just need to desperately talk to someone.
Now, if you have a great support system, you can always talk out your feelings. However, if you don’t have a healthy support system, perhaps it is time to try another trick. TBN finds it unhealthy to talk to random people on the internet about yourself or even in desperate times text your exes.
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If you are overwhelmed today, and you are thinking of texting your ex, TBN says not to. Instead, learn these tips on how to self-soothe to regulate your nervous system. We have asked seven people to tell us their tested and trusted tips to regulate their nervous system when anxious. Here are their answers;
Fola
Instead of talking to someone, I’d take an hour at a time sometimes just processing all my feelings out loud to my phone – to myself. And I also go back and listen to it all. It is interesting to see how I grew and learned during that time. Perhaps that will be helpful to anyone else. Also, I have tried meditation which is a game changer for me. It is learning to tap into my inner witness and remind myself of who I am.
Segun
I love audio notes. Most times, what you need is to get the words out of your body — not necessarily feedback from others. Audio notes will help you a lot to develop intimacy with yourself, which is so important for self-trust. I also make sure to move around because staying in one place dulls your senses.
Dennis
One of the tips on how to self-soothe which I swear by is having fun with your breath. And I mean fun. Breath is the sole autonomous function of the body in which we can influence. Give yourself more breath when you’re in these states. Give yourself more calm by breathing out slowly and longer breaths cause a somatic process which reduces fear in the body.
Sandra
I am doing daily meditations with some videos from YouTube. I have never been an active person all my life and recently I started to realize, that the more I move the calmer I become. I spend 10-15 minutes daily meditation and surprisingly it calms and energizes at the same time. When I have time I just go out and walk while I have my favorite music on my headphones. I also recommend ASMR videos of high sound quality. You can find them on YouTube, Spotify etc.
Francis
Besides meditation and journaling, I try physical soothing like butterfly hugs with a proper tapping tempo. I also have a note with me, whenever to write out whatever is troubling me at the time. I have compassionate statements to be helpful. I believe that when you feel overwhelmed and anxious, what you’re seeking is safety. A therapist helped me realise it is rooted in childhood. If you were overwhelmed in childhood but SURVIVED childhood, your brain learns, this is how I need to feel to survive and keep myself safe. So statements that have helped me are ‘I can be safe without feeling overwhelmed, ‘I don’t need to feel overwhelmed to survive’, repeating ‘I am safe also just telling yourself ‘it’s ok to be overwhelmed.
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Israel
My go-to tips on how to self-soothe include chatting with ChatGPT. It helped me, didn’t judge, gave sound advice and offered different perspectives. I also sought to see a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The medication will help alleviate symptoms, especially if you struggle to stay asleep.
Johnson
I find grounding exercises helpful, in particular the 54321 (name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch – even if that’s just like your legs or your arm – 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste). It’s basic and I sort of hate that it genuinely works, but it does. I add 1 extra at the end which is ‘name 1 thing you love about yourself. If you’re struggling a little with self-love in the moment it’s nice to give the low pressure of just naming 1 thing, and if it takes you time to think of something, it’s a good distraction!
