Real-life Stories

I have been with my boyfriend over 11 years and I’m  35 years old now and I’m not getting any younger.  I have sacrificed a lot for this relationship including getting a loan to finance his business several times instead of paying for my mother to get an operation.

She was sick at the time and they needed some money for an operation, but I didn’t take it seriously. Then I took a loan of a large sum to rent  a store and stocked it with enough goods to surprise this guy on his birthday, which was the coming week. But My Mother’s illness had become severe, but I had already taken so many loans that it was impossible to take another.

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I begged and borrowed  money from a few friends. It took some time before I could complete the amount required, but by then, it was too late. We lost Mom. Before I lost my mother, I had taken a loan and gave all my savings to my boyfriend so he could marry me.  But he didn’t seem particularly interested saying he would when he has money.

This relationship has stressed me out and to think I have been with this guy throughout school, and university. He studied law while I studied accounting. Now, I’m working as an accountant, but unfortunately, he hasn’t gotten a job yet, so he’s been staying at my place. It’s been 3 years since he moved in and still be had no job.

My boyfriend was not even making effort to find a job anymore. I was the one feeding and clothing him, paying bills, and doing virtually all the chores in the house while he watched TV all day. I was getting worried due to the stress on me. I talked to him about it, but he told me that he’s a man and his tradition forbids him from doing house chores while a woman is in the house.

I let it go and never insisted. But then, 1 realized that for over a year, he was no longer making efforts o get a job. That was when I first out the first loan of a large sum, gave it to him, and came up with the idea of him owning a small retail store, at least for a start, instead of just sitting at home doing nothing. Two months later, he was still at home.

I asked why, and he said the amount was too small. I knew just then that he spent the money on something else, though I didn’t know exactly what. At that time, I was receiving calls and texts from home saying my mother was ill until we lost her all because I took a loan to stock a shop for his business.

Two years after the death of mom, I noticed my boyfriend had stocked more goods meaning he is doing well , but I was still the one providing for the house. I’ve never asked him for a dime because I didn’t want him to waste money but instead grow more in his business. Lately, I’ve noticed he’s seeing someone else.

Even though I understand that all men cheat (which is why i haven’t confronted him for peace’s sake), as long as he doesn’t rub it in my face and I’m still his main woman, it’s okay. Honestly, I believe that when we finally get married, he’ll change and act more mature. Actually, the issue is I was hoping that by this time we would be married.

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It’s been over 11 good years of dating, but he has never mentioned it, let alone popped the question. Every time I try to talk about it, he either changes the topic or walks out on once mentioned that he didn’t have enough money for a wedding or dowry, so I took a loan, added my savings, and handed over a large sum to him so he could see my dad for the dowry payment.

From there, we could proceed and have a small white wedding, but he’s still making excuses. I really don’t know what men want. I’m beautiful, I’m decent, I’m good in bed, and what haven’t l done for him to see wife potential in me? Honestly, I’m tired. I feel so unlucky and confused at this point. I’m getting scared with all that’s going on. Please Tee, what do I do?